drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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