She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
