awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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