we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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