Are we in a gay sports bar?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
