did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize