I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize