how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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