Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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