you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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