Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
