White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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