Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
