is your mom at the bar?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
