So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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