i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
