Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no, he came in my armpit
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
