Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize