Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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