dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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