Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
