did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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