You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
