He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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