My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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