I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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