i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
