We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
