Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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