fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
