is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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