I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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