Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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