so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
