South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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