At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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