talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
