he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
