She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
