so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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