I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
