Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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