it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
