I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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