BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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