We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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