My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm always down for nudity.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
