i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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