I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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