Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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