You work out of a Hotel?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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