You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
