So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
