you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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