My cat gives me a boner
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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