We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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