ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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