found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
