yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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