There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
