Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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