He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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